As a woman professional who has spent decades striving to succeed and lead, a lesson and truth has recently occurred to me. For years I have tried to be like the boys, lowering the pitch of my voice and refusing to pour coffee for anyone in the boardroom. Never talking about my role as a mother or how I feel to the fellas while laughing at their tasteless blonde jokes, I accepted the culture and stepped up to bat like any leader and game player would. 

Today, I realize that I have l missed out on some prime opportunities not because I am insecure or fearful of success - or failure (ok, so maybe these are all attributes I have been working through as I have realized the main lesson here). I've missed out simply because I've put others ahead of me because I have lead from my heart, not my brain. 

Now, I have realized the need as a woman, to balance my goals and decisions from both my heart and my brain. Both organs support success and leadership. Both organs are necessary to make change happen and inspire others. 

It is ok if I am sensitive and caring and love being a mom. I can be a leader in the boardroom or online because I am a woman who uses her brain and her heart to make decisions. That's ok. For years, many men have used their brains - and another body part - to lead. That's ok too. We can co-exist. (Not everyone is, or can be a Don Draper, thankfully!)

The question that will separate the strong from the weak for tomorrow's leaders will not be based on logic, emotion, ego or a man VS. woman issue at all. The question we will need to be asking to be true leaders is this: where is your motivation coming from?